He sits in front of his computer, listening to some K'naan, trying to get over the moment of stress caused by a call to his new super. As he listens to the first few notes of a particularly cheerful song, he reminds himself of an earlier conversation that washed away all his anxiety.
He feels a little more relaxed now, but still lacks even an ounce of inspiration. He knows he's probably weird enough to write some great stuff, but the ideas just don't seem to want to come to him. How do those people do it he wonders, churning out book after book, like they have a magic hat which produces storylines instead of rabits. Now that would be a neat trick he thinks.
He finally decides to give up for the night, feeling somewhat satisfied about his effort and, for some reason, wondering if lions would like catnip.
Lion taming tip # 12
To entertain your lion, buy a piece of wrope and tie it to a stick. He is a big cat after all.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
The future
How do you envision the future?
The future I choose to picture for my great grand children and, of course, the lions, will feature a mix of innovative technology and old tools. When the petroleum craze finally becomes a thing of the past, people will get back to the basics and will live in a more earth friendly manner. I truly believe that the environment can provide us with all the energy we need and that we don't have to burn anything to extract it.
Lion taming tip # 11
When you want to teach your lion to jump up on something, don't use the kitchen table as a training tool, that will only lead to disaster.
The future I choose to picture for my great grand children and, of course, the lions, will feature a mix of innovative technology and old tools. When the petroleum craze finally becomes a thing of the past, people will get back to the basics and will live in a more earth friendly manner. I truly believe that the environment can provide us with all the energy we need and that we don't have to burn anything to extract it.
Lion taming tip # 11
When you want to teach your lion to jump up on something, don't use the kitchen table as a training tool, that will only lead to disaster.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Are we real?
After seeing, The Matrix, I wondered for about three seconds if there was a chance that I, along with the rest of the earth's population, was a virtual being living in a virtual world. When the fourth second came, I decided that I was happy either way and that the subject didn't warrant further exploration.
Today, I was forced to reexamine the question when I heard on Radio one's wonderful show, Q, that the New York Times published a story about a philosopher who says that "it is almost a mathematical certainty that we are living in someone else’s computer simulation" (see full article here). This time around, I wondered what a world that would have us as a simulation would be like, but again, after a couple of seconds, I stopped caring. To me, this is reality. And right now, it's the only one I want to live in.
No tips tonight, check back tomorrow.
Today, I was forced to reexamine the question when I heard on Radio one's wonderful show, Q, that the New York Times published a story about a philosopher who says that "it is almost a mathematical certainty that we are living in someone else’s computer simulation" (see full article here). This time around, I wondered what a world that would have us as a simulation would be like, but again, after a couple of seconds, I stopped caring. To me, this is reality. And right now, it's the only one I want to live in.
No tips tonight, check back tomorrow.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Return
What does a ten hour drive teach you?
That you should make them as rarely as possible and that you should really consider buying a plane ticket the next time around.
This post signals the return of the Ottawans to the National Capital Region, NCR for short.
They arrived safely, one of them tired, despite having slept during most of the trip, and the other one a little more tired, having been the sole wheelman.
Said wheelman will now be having his diner, and who knows, later on, he might even treat himself to dessert.
Lion taming tip # 10
Lions can be unbearable during a ten hour drive. Ask a friend to look after your lion when you have to be out of town.
That you should make them as rarely as possible and that you should really consider buying a plane ticket the next time around.
This post signals the return of the Ottawans to the National Capital Region, NCR for short.
They arrived safely, one of them tired, despite having slept during most of the trip, and the other one a little more tired, having been the sole wheelman.
Said wheelman will now be having his diner, and who knows, later on, he might even treat himself to dessert.
Lion taming tip # 10
Lions can be unbearable during a ten hour drive. Ask a friend to look after your lion when you have to be out of town.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Festivities
And the two Ottawans danced the night away with their friends. They danced to every song. And when the songs were replayed, they danced with a renewed vigor, not giving in to the ache in their legs, refusing to stop until the lights came on and the music stopped playing.
Monday, the Ottawans will leave with good memories in their hearts and a need to get back to their new life and their new loved ones, which, at the moment, seem so far away.
These types of trips are enjoyable. They allow people to relive the great parts of their childhoods in one or two days. But they should not be prolonged, for then there would be time to notice all the things that went missing or that were never there. There is, after all, a very good reason why the expression isn't "long and sweet".
Lion taming tip # 9
Get a good whip. Do not hit the lion with the whip, he won't like it.
(that one might be a bit weak, but I'm a bit tired so...)
Monday, the Ottawans will leave with good memories in their hearts and a need to get back to their new life and their new loved ones, which, at the moment, seem so far away.
These types of trips are enjoyable. They allow people to relive the great parts of their childhoods in one or two days. But they should not be prolonged, for then there would be time to notice all the things that went missing or that were never there. There is, after all, a very good reason why the expression isn't "long and sweet".
Lion taming tip # 9
Get a good whip. Do not hit the lion with the whip, he won't like it.
(that one might be a bit weak, but I'm a bit tired so...)
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Weddings
The two Ottawans made their way to the entrance of the building, hoping they were at the right place. When they walked in, one of them at least was relieved to see the right groom, knowing then that, had they been at the wrong place, it would be a mistake quickly overshadowed. After meeting up with some friends and making small talk, the two ventured further inside to find seats.
The church was half full when the bride made her way down the aisle. Everybody was smiling, some friends were shedding tears of joy and a funny uncle was giving two thumbs up. T'was a good day go get married.
After the vows were exchanged, the newlyweds walked back towards the front doors and, having reached them, made what seemed like a dash for the chariot that was awaiting them. The Ottawans lingered outside, getting reacquainted with an old friend who, like them, had made a long trip for the occasion.
The trio then split up for the afternoon, planning to meet back for the evening festivities.
As these words are written, the said festivities are about to begin. And they should be quite interesting.
Take care of yourselves good people of the net, and if you're having a drink tonight, have it in the honour of F and E. May their love be everlasting.
Lion taming tip # 8
Do not mention the fact that you're a lion tamer, you wouln't want to divert attention from the wedding to your awesome profession. (If you must talk about your job, just say you work at a bank.)
If you are reading this, and are a bank worker, understand that I mean no disrespect. Yes, your job is an important one and yes, I appreciate that it's because of people like you that I don't have to hide my money under my mattress and my handgun under my pillow. But you do have to admit that no bride ever said "That damn banker, he stole my thunder".
The church was half full when the bride made her way down the aisle. Everybody was smiling, some friends were shedding tears of joy and a funny uncle was giving two thumbs up. T'was a good day go get married.
After the vows were exchanged, the newlyweds walked back towards the front doors and, having reached them, made what seemed like a dash for the chariot that was awaiting them. The Ottawans lingered outside, getting reacquainted with an old friend who, like them, had made a long trip for the occasion.
The trio then split up for the afternoon, planning to meet back for the evening festivities.
As these words are written, the said festivities are about to begin. And they should be quite interesting.
Take care of yourselves good people of the net, and if you're having a drink tonight, have it in the honour of F and E. May their love be everlasting.
Lion taming tip # 8
Do not mention the fact that you're a lion tamer, you wouln't want to divert attention from the wedding to your awesome profession. (If you must talk about your job, just say you work at a bank.)
If you are reading this, and are a bank worker, understand that I mean no disrespect. Yes, your job is an important one and yes, I appreciate that it's because of people like you that I don't have to hide my money under my mattress and my handgun under my pillow. But you do have to admit that no bride ever said "That damn banker, he stole my thunder".
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Books
As I quickly mentionned in my first post, I'd very much like to be a writer/surfer/lion tamer. Some of my friends would tell you that I talk nonsense all the time and that you should really take everything I say with a grain of salt. But the truth is I do dream of one day penning a book. It's not really about making money or being famous, it's about telling a good story, about finding original ways to say things. I might even try to write a French and and English version at the same time, adding different touches to both, making them like semi-identical twins (don't anybody dare steal this idea, I can't afford to take you to court).
Someday, someday people, I might be the Jack Johnson of literature.
To pass time until I publish my work, I suggest you dive into that of Douglas Adams, an author best known for his Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series. I especially recommend Dirk Gently's holistic detective agency, which sets a different mood than Hitchhiker's but is nonetheless funny as hell and beautifully written.
Lion taming tip # 7
Train your lion to be around lots of people (this might involve getting some very good friends or some very drunk ones). It's hard to put on a show with a shy lion.
Someday, someday people, I might be the Jack Johnson of literature.
To pass time until I publish my work, I suggest you dive into that of Douglas Adams, an author best known for his Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series. I especially recommend Dirk Gently's holistic detective agency, which sets a different mood than Hitchhiker's but is nonetheless funny as hell and beautifully written.
Lion taming tip # 7
Train your lion to be around lots of people (this might involve getting some very good friends or some very drunk ones). It's hard to put on a show with a shy lion.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Faith
I'm not a church going man by any means. I just never felt any need for it. So, since I've been about twelve, I only attend mass for funerals, and, every five years or so, for weddings. I must admit though that sometimes the messages posted outside churches are quite inspiring.
The following one has been stuck into my mind lately:
I love the recklessness of faith. First you leap, then you grow wings. (William Sloane Coffin)
Despite the quote's clear reference to angels, I don't apply it to religion at all. Rather, I see it as a reflection on everyday life, and on the feeling you get after taking such a leap.
Leaping, of course, is never easy, no matter how much you believe that things will work out, but once you start to grow feathers, you get this urge to leap even more.
I've been taking my own leaps lately, sometimes throwing myself into the unknown, sometimes catching the ledge at the last minute and feeling sad and grounded for the next few days, hoping for another opportunity. I still can't fly, but I know someday I'll reach the clouds.
Lion taming tip # 6
Get yourself a chair, preferably one that's light and sturdy. Not only will you be able to sit comfortably when you get tired (we're talking lions here, you're gonna work up a sweat), you'll also have something to tease the lion with instead of your arms.
The following one has been stuck into my mind lately:
I love the recklessness of faith. First you leap, then you grow wings. (William Sloane Coffin)
Despite the quote's clear reference to angels, I don't apply it to religion at all. Rather, I see it as a reflection on everyday life, and on the feeling you get after taking such a leap.
Leaping, of course, is never easy, no matter how much you believe that things will work out, but once you start to grow feathers, you get this urge to leap even more.
I've been taking my own leaps lately, sometimes throwing myself into the unknown, sometimes catching the ledge at the last minute and feeling sad and grounded for the next few days, hoping for another opportunity. I still can't fly, but I know someday I'll reach the clouds.
Lion taming tip # 6
Get yourself a chair, preferably one that's light and sturdy. Not only will you be able to sit comfortably when you get tired (we're talking lions here, you're gonna work up a sweat), you'll also have something to tease the lion with instead of your arms.
Titles
I keep forgetting to add titles to my posts. Hopefully, I'll get better at remembering with time.
Lion taming tip # 5
Would you jump through hoops of fire without a little incentive? Buy some treats for your lion.
Lion taming tip # 5
Would you jump through hoops of fire without a little incentive? Buy some treats for your lion.
15 août
Bonne fête de l'Acadie les amis!
Eh oui, je suis Acadien. Je sais, je sais, vous êtes jaloux. Malheureusement, nous ne pouvons pas tous être nés dans ce merveilleux coin de pays.
Vous voulez vous sentir un peu Acadien en ce 15 août? Allez manger des fruits de mer et boire une Alpine, ou quinze.
Lion taming tip # 4
You must resist the urge to feed your lion seafood and Alpine in hopes of making him more Acadian. Yes, Acadian lions are the coolest, but African ones are pretty good too.
Eh oui, je suis Acadien. Je sais, je sais, vous êtes jaloux. Malheureusement, nous ne pouvons pas tous être nés dans ce merveilleux coin de pays.
Vous voulez vous sentir un peu Acadien en ce 15 août? Allez manger des fruits de mer et boire une Alpine, ou quinze.
Lion taming tip # 4
You must resist the urge to feed your lion seafood and Alpine in hopes of making him more Acadian. Yes, Acadian lions are the coolest, but African ones are pretty good too.
Moving
I, and hopefully some other people, find moving to be a very unnerving experience. But what makes me the most anxious isn't the actual moving of my belongings or the quest to find the perfect apartment, it's the doubts that creep into my mind after I've chosen my new living quarters.
So while, for the past month or so, mere weeks before the end of my lease, I was stress free, telling people that push comes to shove, I'd crash at an unsuspecting friend's place, the minutes that followed the call to confirm that I will be renting what will soon be my new "chez moi" were very stressful. Thankfully, in those moments, comforting friends are just a phone call away.
Friends are more important than air. Cherish them. Let them cherish you.
Breathing alone is pointless.
Lion taming tip # 3
When moving into a new apartment, don't assume that the "cats are allowed" policy applies to your lion.
So while, for the past month or so, mere weeks before the end of my lease, I was stress free, telling people that push comes to shove, I'd crash at an unsuspecting friend's place, the minutes that followed the call to confirm that I will be renting what will soon be my new "chez moi" were very stressful. Thankfully, in those moments, comforting friends are just a phone call away.
Friends are more important than air. Cherish them. Let them cherish you.
Breathing alone is pointless.
Lion taming tip # 3
When moving into a new apartment, don't assume that the "cats are allowed" policy applies to your lion.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Music
If lions could choose the music they listen to, they would surely put on some Tegan and Sara every now and then. This great canadian band is my favorite at the moment and they could become yours too. Go have a listen at their myspace page. You won't regret it.
Lion taming tip # 2
If your lion looks angry, it probably is. Get your head away from it's mouth.
Lion taming tip # 2
If your lion looks angry, it probably is. Get your head away from it's mouth.
Monday, August 13, 2007
It begins
Good evening people of the Web.
I've taken the jump, I'm finally posting stuff online.
For months now people have been hassling me to get on Facebook. "It's awesome" they say. "You can get back in touch with all the people you knew" they say. Well I don't want any of that. I prefer writing for strangers, honing my skills, with the hopes of someday becoming a lion tamer/surfer/writer.
I'll leave it at that for tonight. If you happen to read this, I'll be amazed. Really, honestly, you will have made my day. You've got to feel happy about that.
Lion taming tip # 1
Do not try to teach an old lion new tricks. Get yourself a new lion.
If by any chance you are reading this and are an actual professional lion tamer, please understand that I mean no disrespect to you or your very cool job. I just have a wacky sense of humor.
I've taken the jump, I'm finally posting stuff online.
For months now people have been hassling me to get on Facebook. "It's awesome" they say. "You can get back in touch with all the people you knew" they say. Well I don't want any of that. I prefer writing for strangers, honing my skills, with the hopes of someday becoming a lion tamer/surfer/writer.
I'll leave it at that for tonight. If you happen to read this, I'll be amazed. Really, honestly, you will have made my day. You've got to feel happy about that.
Lion taming tip # 1
Do not try to teach an old lion new tricks. Get yourself a new lion.
If by any chance you are reading this and are an actual professional lion tamer, please understand that I mean no disrespect to you or your very cool job. I just have a wacky sense of humor.
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