Madness

I have been without an Internet connection at home for three weeks now.

I might be going mad.

Of course, I might already be mad and not be aware of it. After all, do crazy people know they're crazy?

I don't feel crazy, but then again, I keep ranting about lions and surfing and writing a book without any content which I am sure will sell well.

Mmm… I'll reflect on this and get back to you.

Are you crazy and aware of it? Do you find yourself laughing more than sane people?

Lion taming tip # 16

If you think you're going crazy, find someone else to take care of your lion, but before you do, make sure the lion isn't imaginary.

Strange friends and normal strangers

I receive the comment almost everyday now: "You're a strange one, you know?". My reply is most always the same "Yeah, I know". You just can't go around buying topless sandals and listening almost exclusively to CBC radio without knowing that there's something quirky about you. But is that such a bad thing? I myself never look for normalcy in people. My friends all have certain qualities that make them unique and even a little strange and that's just how I like them. Ask yourself this: if I wasn't me and you weren't you, would we have as much fun?

Normalcy is boring and strangeness is interesting. Living without being noticed is not living at all.

Internetlessness

The first green light comes to life, followed by the second one. Only one left. Will the suffering end? Will the box which has not been much more than a paperweight for the past three weeks be brought back to the state it once was? The third light lights up as most lights do in this situation, but instead of presenting a soothing green colour to the spectator, it shows him a clear red, indicating to him that the box will remain lifeless for yet another evening.

The show ends in sadness and disapointment. The lone spectator leaves the room dejected, hoping for the next day, hoping that he will see green instead of red

Tonight, the lights will be brought to life once more and its spectator will pray to the Internet gods that he will finally be able to bask in the green light of connectivity.

Shaving

Shaving is a part of everyday life for most men. Some try to get it over with as quickly as possible, and some, like the author of this blog, have chosen to get back to the methods of old and have discarded their multi-blade instrument and their can of foam in favor of a good old safety razor, a soap and a shaving brush. Of course, shaving using the methods of old takes much more time, but it is such an enjoyable time that those who do it really don't mind setting aside an additional ten or twenty minutes to get rid of their facial hair.

But what if you want that truly luxurious shave? The one only a trained barber can offer you. Well, you better not find yourself wanting that sort of a shave when you're visiting a little town in northeastern New-Brunswick. In this town, which shall remain nameless, not one, but two barbers told yours truly that in their barbershop, you cannot get your beard shaved. So there you have it, I am astonished and still bearded.

I'll take care of the beard later on today with the methods of old, hoping that I will be able to have a taste of luxury once I've made my way back to the city.

Oh yeah, and tonight, I strongly encourage you to have a drink to H. and R., who will take the vows of marriage today at 7:30 pm, Atlantic time.

Until next time, take care of yourselves my dear friends of the Web.

R.

Travels

The Ottawans found themselves back in New-Brunswick for the third time of the summer, and for their second wedding. The 10 hour drive went well, again filled with interesting discussions and a lot of laughter.
Every time they make this trip, the two pals find themselves more and more convinced that avoiding long stays is a good idea. They also arrive with a stronger belief that someone should really shorten the distance between Ontario and their destination. But alas, they are not religious people and it's doubtful that anyone other than God could grant them this wish.

So once more, this writer prepares himself for another very busy weekend.

Check back tomorrow to see for which couple you should have a drink in the evening.


Lion taming tip # 14

If you're going away and are looking for someone to take care of your lion, be honest. Poeple will be put off when they find out that you grossly understated the size of your cat.

Lunch

Live in Ottawa? Work in Centretown? Like to eat at lunchtime? Try the Café Expresso Deli, located at the corner of Slater and Metcalfe. The prices can't be beat, the food's delicious and the staff is so friendly you'll seriously consider applying for a job.

Leave your lion at the door, you'll most likely get better service this way.

Cheers!

Absence

Pardon my lack of posts lately, but my lion and I are currently without an Internet connection. As soon as we rejoin the global network, I will start writing again with renewed vigor.

Until next time,

R.

Test (updated)

Testing, testing, one two.

This is a test of the mail-to-blogger function.

And just for the heck of it, you should check out Sia's music. I like it, my lion likes it, and, hopefully, you'll like it too.

Cheers!

New fridge

Upon opening the door, he saw a refrigerator. This elated him as, for the past four days, he hadn't seen a refrigerator in his apartment. The appliance was gleaming at him and he was gleaming back, realizing that this was the only thing he wouldn't have to clean before putting stuff in. He opened the door half expecting the inside of the fridge to be dirty despite its apparent newness. The inside was even gleamier than the inside. Satisfied, he closed the door and left, smiling.


Lion taming tips will be back once I have more time to think about them. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Moving

On Thurdsy, the Ottawan remembered why he hates moving.

On Tuesday, the promise of new countertops, a new fridge and a re-enameled bathtub made the feeling go away.


Lion taming tip # 13

Never let your lion see you cry, he will lose all respect for you.