Tamers

Good morning, afternoon or evening to you, fellow internauts,

If you're reading this, it probably means you stumbled onto my blog while searching for new tricks to teach your lion. After all, the whole jumping through hoops of fire thing does get old after a while. Innovation is the key to keeping the audience happy.

If indeed you are a lion tamer, you'll unfortunately have to get ideas from someone else; I only publish taming tips.

But mostly I write some silly things and some less silly things as a way to hone my imagination, so that I have at least a couple of lines to put in the book I'll publish when I become a surfer. And there you go; I've lost all but one of you. It's okay though. You see, I have this concept about people who are known as surfers and I intend to put it to the test once I become one of those people.

Are you amused by what you read here today? Good. Hold on to that feeling. People who smile are just more fun to look at.

That's all for now folks.

Take care,

R.

Lion taming tip # 19

Buy a really big clawing board, your furniture will thank you.

Vibes

I've got them.
Do you have them?
Do you even know what them is?
I'll tell you what them is.
Soon.
Very soon.
Now...

Vibes.
Not just any vibes.
Phantom vibes.

Training

He just sat there, waiting for the training to start, praying to the universe (the universe was about the only thing he prayed to these days) that the small group in his classroom didn't include people who asked a lot of questions. He didn't particularly frown on people who ask questions, the thirst for knowledge being an admirable quality, but he did harbor strong feelings of disdain for those who ask useless questions which only serve to slow down the process.

The facilitator began his class, and the Universe took a break...

If you're in school or in university, asking questions is alright, most of the time, but if you're taking some other type of class, let it go. Everything you need to know will be taught. If you absolutely need to know something about circumstances that apply only to yourself, wait until class is over and talk to the facilitator one on one. The other people just don't care...

There you have it, now you know one of my pet peeves. I will now proceed to be happy for the rest of the evening.


Lion taming tip # 17

When you walk your lion, do it at night and wear a clown costume. Your neighbors will feel much safer knowing that they have hallucinations than knowing someone on their block has a lion.

It lives!

It had been more than a month. More than a month since he left La belle province. More than a month since he stopped taking the bus to work. More than a month since he entered his now transformed hellhole. More than a month since he abandonned his blazingly fast Internet connection...

This morning, when the problem was finally fixed and his modem stopped showing him the red light of death, he felt that this had not been such a bad experience. Perhaps being offline for a month had allowed him to attain a certain level of zen, or perhaps he had really gone mad.

He was nevertheless very happy because he knew that he could now finish setting up his office, a task that he had put off since arriving because he just couldn't stand to look at his computer in its isolated state.

So there you have it dwellers of the virtual universe, I'm back. My posts should therefore regain some sort of regularity and lion taming tips should also be back soon.

This whole ordeal has left me with only one question: What could have pushed one of the previous tenants to physically sever his or her own phone line? I'll get back to you with the answer if I ever find out.

Until next time, take care of yourselves.

R.

Live

You just haven't experienced music until you've heard it played live. The energy from the artists and the vibrations from the speakers add a dimension to the sound that just can't be reproduced on a CD. If you've never seen a band in concert, try to do it as soon as possible.

Offline still

Maybe warning the Bell people about the lion wasn't the best idea, he thought while sitting in front of his useless computer.

Comments

First of all, gracias senor Crescenet para su commentario, and for trying to help me out in these depressing times, depressing as far as my computer is concerned anyways.

Live in Brazil? Looking for an Internet provider? Check out the comment to post #16. Be warned that I don't know anything about the company mentionned so don't take this as a recommendation. Before signing up, do what you should do when you get into any contract, search the Web for reviews and comments from existing or past customers.

Hasta luego.

R.